Some believe it is a legend living in the depths of our suburbs. Others persist in thinking that it is an invention straight out of the imagination of matchmakers. At floristry school, they talk about it, but not too much. We should not scare the new florists who are still very young and full of naivety.

And then one day, without warning, she contacts you to call on your services. Often beautiful as the sun, bright as a "flash light" and well-dressed as an advert from Clin d'œil magazine, she inspires trust, respect and human warmth. You then let yourself be gently seduced by her ideas and her dream projects. You submit a bid, she accepts and that's when the nightmare begins, because it is with your own blood that you have signed and it is your love of the profession and your faith in humanity that will be severely tested.

Madame Alice's First Bridezilla

It was in July that Madame Alice met her very first Bridezilla. On a mild morning in June, the bride-to-be entered the boutique accompanied by her 3-year-old male child who was as manageable as a young Jack Russell. The meeting went wonderfully (although the Jack Russell climbed and chewed the furniture at lightning speed with disconcerting motivation). Her Pinterest images are magnificent!

Often brides-to-be have a beautiful Pinterest board filled with inspiration for their big day. These boards are important tools to help us create. However, we are not laser printers copying other people's creations. Plus, these images have been edited and dipped in dirty filters so much that the flowers and colors sometimes don't even exist. "I've already finished a bouquet with a brush and acrylics!"  a colleague recently confided in me that she had been trapped by a Pinterest request. No way!

Here is her request. Her dream bouquet (this is not the real one but you get the idea!);

In short, a beautiful trip of olive, eucalyptus and cream AND "BLUSH" flowers. Mrs. Alice writes her recipes; White dhalia, cream garden rose, blush rose, white ranunculus, blush rosette, astrantia, parvifolia, populus... The list of ingredients is long (maybe even too long!), but it is her DREAM bouquet. The florist spends hours creating a reasonable quote that brings together all of her needs for the big day. Happy, she accepts!

The deposit

The house policy is to ask for a 30% deposit, upon acceptance of the submission, and the balance (70%) the week of the wedding.

Days go by and no deposit...

The Bride: “I’ll make a transfer to you! I’ll come by tomorrow morning!”

Days go by...little reminder from Mrs. Alice.

The Bride: “Sorry, I’m overwhelmed, but yes! I’ll confirm with you for my wedding, I’ll come and pay you this week!”

The owner orders the flowers despite the lack of a deposit. After all, she is overwhelmed and if the florist wants her flowers and her colors, she has to do it in advance. The weeks go by. They go by so quickly that here we are the week of the wedding and no deposit in our pocket!

The fridge is overflowing with cream, white and BLUSH flowers.

The color Blush!!!

Blush! Do you know this color belonging to the makeup lexical field?! Blush, in French, is blush. In 2022, Dior's spring-summer collection contained more than 32 different shades of blush. In short, the color "BLUSH" is probably the least precise color on the color wheel (in fact, it's not even there!). You don't believe me?! Search blush pink in google photo and tell me if it's a precise color! NOT 

48 hours before the wedding day, still no news from the bride, neither in the shop to come and check out the fridge, nor to pay her deposit. Mrs. Alice therefore calls the future bride for the 37th time, who finally picks up!

The Bride: "I'm sorry! We got scammed out of over 40 thousand dollars and up until today we were still thinking about maybe canceling our wedding (FU**!!!). However, I give you my word and we will pay for the flowers. The wedding will happen."

Is it the truth? Is it a lie? Mrs. Alice is a florist and unfortunately has not worked for the FBI for several years. She gives him the benefit of the doubt and waits for his deposit for 2 days.

48 hours before the wedding, Madame Alice finally tightens the screw:

Mrs. Alice: "I'm sorry Miss, but if I haven't received payment by 3pm. I won't be doing your wedding flowers!"

No sooner said than done! 

The Bride: "I told you I only had one word! Answer the bride."

This is when the doubts began...when Madame Alice seemed to see little buds of horns similar to little shoots of tiaras on the head of the future bride.

The bouquet phase I

Now let's get to work! There's not a minute to lose! The wedding is in less than 48 hours. Plus, the florist has another wedding to finish and more than a dozen floral accessories to design! Mrs. Alice is making the bouquet in phase 1 design mode. What is phase 1?! It's creating a first bouquet and sending photos and videos to the bride to collect her impressions and adjust everything. 

It's 8pm, the brightness of the photos taken in the shop is "soso", the background is ordinary (mea culpa), but the flowers and the colors of the bouquet are those agreed in the agreement...with the crappy lighting...the colors are weird, but the goal is just to give a first glimpse! Then we adapt! 

The Bride: “ Those are not my colors!”

Mrs. Alice: " No, the colors are "soso", because of the lighting, sorry, but we are definitely in the blush (!) and the cream. I'll send you new photos tomorrow and we'll adapt everything via Messenger, you just have to stay close to your phone.

La Bride: “ I want to go to the store!”

Mrs. Alice: “ Unfortunately, we are closed tomorrow. ”

Closed, because less than 24 hours before the wedding Mrs. Alice has to "crack" on a time in addition to having to go and set up a room in the afternoon for another wedding. In addition, she saw her coming with a sensitive bridle, stressed and in a panic to have her dream bouquet redone and redone for hours and hours... It's her wedding, she has the right, you might say! I totally agree, but less than 24 hours before the wedding it's a no! The stress is at its peak, the hours are numbered, the perfect climate for melodrama.

The running-in of future wives

Usually, a week before the wedding, the groom-to-be usually hangs around their florist to see the flowers and greenery when they arrive, in order to perhaps adapt everything before it's really too late (like 48 hours before the wedding!). This allows you to make a mini canvas, to review the order and the needs (because sometimes there is an extra man of honor, a cake, etc.). In short, this test visit is not mandatory, but strongly recommended. As a florist, when I receive the flowers I always send a little message to the future spouses to invite them to come by.

This is where the war begins;

The Bride: “I demand to come tomorrow!”

Have I ever told you how much Madame Alice loves orders?!

Mrs. Alice: “I’m sorry, but I’ll send you pictures tomorrow and we’ll adjust everything. Otherwise you can come to the store but it will be $50/hour. ”

$50/h?! Is that abuse? Just to tell you that I had to make up for his lack of deposit myself and that from the next day all my hours are precious if I don't want to work all night. It's too late! It's just too late! 

The Bride: " Ah no I won't accept that, I paid enough to not be charged more. " 

Mrs. Alice: “ So, madam, I invite you to work with me with photos, otherwise, well, I can reimburse you! ” 

The Bride: “ My partner is a police officer (...) this is not acceptable (...) we are going to ask you for a full refund! ” 

A few sentences later…

The Bride: " (...) I'm going to dirty you! " 

The Bride: " (...) you have a heavy past! (what??!! To be honest, I'm still soft in life...although I "kicked" little Eli in the balls in 3rd grade for no good reason. I apologize Eli.) " 

The Bride: “ You have until 10pm to pay me back or I’ll call the police! ” 

It shouldn't be difficult, he's lying right next to you!

Mrs. Alice: " No, I'm sorry, it's 9:30 p.m. and all government offices are closed. I want to do things properly, respecting your rights and my rights. I'll get back to you in 24 hours. " 

There, the chaos continues for a good part of the night: threats, harassment, insults... in short, Mrs. Alice constantly copies and pastes the message : "No, I'm sorry, it's 9:30 p.m., all government offices are closed. I want to do things properly, respecting your rights and my rights. I'll get back to you in 24 hours."

The next morning, 8:30, Mrs. Alice calls the consumer protection office. She refunds the amount (- the 30% deposit) and the future husband is reassuring by saying that the threats made by his future wife last night will not be justified... except that she continues!

Messenger for Business does not allow you to block an individual.

It's a real rain of threats and insults that falls on Mrs. Alice. There she is, the Bridezilla! She's here! From the top of her 100-meter high heels with her 32 sharp teeth several dozen centimeters long!

Well I'm not as white as snow...I still ended up telling him to burn in hell...sincerely. Which made him even more furious I must say...

So Mrs. Alice calls the police who had to intervene with the Bridezilla to calm her down!

No, but that will cause harassment and defamation, we'll manage the crinoline!!!

Moral of the story?! They exist! And she traumatized Mrs. Alice forever.

From now on, the florist will only do 4 weddings per summer and it will be a Miss (Mister) Personality contest. 

I may not be a perfect florist. In fact, I am imperfect and 100% human. On the other hand, I know that my heart and values ​​are in the right place. I don't just want to make flowers for the sake of making flowers, I want to share a moment with the bride and groom. To fill this important day with emotion, laughter and truth. I am a feminist florist and humorist who works with local flowers with their imperfections and the crazy ideas of lovebirds. With me we have fun, we create, we cry with joy and we work on beauty! I don't just sell flowers, I create memories...but you better pay your deposit!